Friday 15 June 2018

Heard from several people this week...that my website requires some "tweaking"!   Apparently,  I cannot be contacted through my "Contact" page on my website.  It's brand new...and though we thought it was up and ready to go...there are a few issues.

Please let me know what you have discovered that might need attention!

And it is helpful to know if you are viewing the site on a cell phone (model?) or a computer, laptop or tablet screen. 

I spotted 3 typos in my Credits ...(that's my boo boo)

Hopefully, the Contact page issues will be fixed...in the meantime...

you can call or text me at 780-907-5997  

OR email me:  jana@janalapel.com ...

(for now, don't rely on the website to take you to my address)

  It seems like "under construction" applies to most everything I am doing these days,  my book, my website and even ME!

THANKS EVERYBODY for checking out my new website!

Wednesday 13 June 2018

After years of writing, re-writing, editing, proof-reading, attempting to get a printing of my book without a zillion flaws....AND after working the past few weeks to try to help my web designer/host to renovate my website...(I am sure I am a pain in the butt to those who deal with my "perfectionist OCD, ADD" personality) I AM OUT OF STEAM!  

This has taken more than 5 years!  I am not a spring chicken! Technology is mostly beyond my understanding.  SO...working with those who do know how you do this stuff...has been frustrating for all of us. We all make mistakes and create errors...but playing the "blame game" complicates the communication!

My great hope is that one of these days...'twill all be finished...(not me!) the projects!  And, of course, that my books will be sold...bills paid...and that SOMEBODY will be blessed by the stories I've shared.

As for the website...I must be nuts to invest in this cyber-tool at my age? Who does this?  Somebody (like me) who thinks they are still able to be in the race!  It's easy to sit in my red chair...type thousands of words, and pretend (like when I was a kid) that somebody out there will notice and care what I have to share!  

The past few years I have been BLOGGING on facebook...which cost me my family. They do not like my transparent "truthtelling"...baring my soul on nearly any subject that triggers the constant stream of consciousness.

NOW...that I have a youtube channel...(not sure what to do with it yet) and my blog is now connected to my website...I wonder if I am talking to outer space?  I have no followers!  Everybody I "talk to" on the internet knows my TIMELINE is where I express my thoughts!  

How do I redirect the ones who seem to care?  Hmm...we shall see!    

Monday 11 November 2013

A Singer's Lament

November 10, 2013

 A Singer's Lament

I thought I'd be more pleasing
to my God if I refrained
from singing songs more secular
that's how I have explained

my choice to never sing again
except about His Name
my ego never settled
and I've never been the same

I envy all the others
who are "old" but singing still
If I had kept on singing
would I not be "in His will?"

To sing of love and friendship
of rainbows and the rain
how could that be so sinful
when I quit what did I gain
 
"Brownie points in heaven"
I doubt I do have any
regrets that I don't sing at all
oh, yes, I do have many

The songs I sang were happy
and some were soulful...sad
and singing was a medicine
whenever I felt bad

Now it's too late...I had my chance
I gave it up...by choice
oh what a foolish thing I did
to throw away my voice

"Send in the Clowns" to cheer me
for "Here's That Rainy Day"
The sun won't come out "Tomorrow"
Nothing is coming "My Way"  

"It's my (pity)party"
If I want to I can cry
but I'd rather sing my songs again
and I'm asking God just why

I thought I'd be more "HOLY"
If I didn't sing anymore
Though I put away His Gift to me
I'm a sinner...just like before

It didn't make a difference
and I doubt it mattered at all
No "ministry" ever followed
there never has been a "CALL"

I miss being out performing
hearing laughter and seeing smiles
I might have been a blessing
and traveled many miles

If I'd kept singing and acting
and sharing a heart full of cheer
Oh, how I long for what's lost now
But it's lost forever...I fear

(Twenty years ago I was a Christian Radio host/interviewer...when I gave up my secular singing and acting career...thinking it was inappropriate to continue singing anything but inspirational/gospel music. I have since realized how I imposed on myself something God did require of me. This "Lament" is about the loss of the joy of singing and making people laugh)
  
 

Sunday 10 November 2013

It's Not about ME!

POEM FOR THE WEEK
 
"IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!"
 
Passed over by some
to some you're a "gem"
ignored by many
don't worry 'bout them
 
God who made you
knows your worth
if they can't see it
carry on with mirth
 
Keep smiling and singing
and dance a bit too
celebrate often
the Gifts HE gave you
 
Give them away
often as you can
for that is exactly
what's in His Plan
 
Every good gift
is meant to be shared
we're not to count up
how many have cared
 
What a relief
when I can see
It really is not
at all about ME
 
Like a circus dog
I performed in the ring
and looked for approval
my songs I'd sing
 
Waiting to hear
compliments and applause
I know I was driven
and I know the cause
 
It's time to relax
and simply "be"
now that I know
It's NOT about ME
 
(by Jana Lapel for the book "Under the Makeup It's Me!")
c November 8, 2013

Saturday 16 March 2013

WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH ME NOW, LORD?

WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH ME NOW, LORD?

What can you do with me now, Lord?
I threw my pearls before swine
What can you do with me now, Lord?
You hear when I murmur and whine

What can you do with me now, Lord?
I am old and I've wasted my times
I've sung all my songs for the worldly
Now I'm left with my empty rhymes

What can you do with me now, Lord?
Your gifts...my talents ill-used
My heart is broken, I'm all alone
The ones that I trusted abused

What can you do with me now, Lord?
The love of my life passed away
You blessed us together so richly
but it ended too soon on THAT DAY

What can you do with me now, Lord?
You called me to travel first class
But I took the path called MY WAY
And now...look what's come to pass

What can you do with me now, Lord?
I ignored what You'd planned for years
Are there any small pearls left inside me
Kept preserved by the salt in my tears?

What can you do with me now, Lord?
Is my vision too cloudy to see...
I want to believe there is something
Some reason for me to be

What can you do with me now, Lord?
Are there any more songs I can sing
I long just to be Your witness
and to soften the sorrow, the sting

What will you do with me now, Lord?
You're the ONE who rescues the lost
You offer Your Grace to the wretched
Gave Your Son to die for the cost

What have you done with me now, Lord?
...brought me back to the future again
from the bittersweet life I've been living
It's a new day...with YOU...I begin


 

Friday 28 December 2012

"We're Not Who We Oughta Be ...BUT...

"We're Not Who We Oughta Be...But...
 We're Not Who We Used To Be!"

These words were a frequent  reminder to our congregation...given to us by our dynamic preacher/teacher. I first heard him give this proclamation about twenty years ago...while attending his church. He preached in a T.D. Jakes style...with that great sense of "urgency"...wanting his flock to pay attention to the details of how God was "growing us" one day at a time!  "My, My, My, My, My Oh MY!" he would say...just look at us NOW!  (referring to: "look where we've come from"!)

When this dear Pastor performed Gerry's and my wedding ceremony on April 18, 1992...there were tears streaming down his face...as he told the 90 guests in the pews..."I know these two...Jana from Chicago and Gerry from Montreal...and I know the mountains they have had to climb."  It felt like an outpouring of "God's Grace" ...like words that Jesus would have spoken to us in His Mercy!

 I had told "Rev. C" ...as he was lovingly nicknamed by many of his church members...that I'd had more than my share of weddings...(see my testimony re: my life as a modern day version of the Samaritan woman from John 4)  and THIS time ...I wanted a "VICTORY CELEBRATION"...to show the world what God can do with two "broken" people!  Truly, it felt like that's what we had! There were not many guests who got through our ceremony with dry eyes. I thought my heart would jump out of my chest with joy and excitement! There were other signs of God's Grace exhibited on that occasion...I like to call them "signatures of God".

Truly, We had come to a point where we were fully awake and finally aware of the MERCY and GRACE of God...and we were still (and never will be) "NOT WHO WE OUGHTA BE"....but we were also "NOT (nor ever will be) WHO WE USED TO BE!"  We considered ourselves "walking miracles". 

We could not have known on that wedding day that we would witness more miracles in our life together. It was six years later ...almost to the day...when we got the news of Gerry's terminal cancer diagnosis. He miraculously outlived the "two years to live" prognosis ...and for the next 9 years he enjoyed what looked like: "good health". He continued with the work God had assigned him in this world... bringing joy to kids as "Denee the Clown" and serving as a mentor to disabled kids in the school system. Then he caught a cold and the hidden battle raging in his body...took over...giving him a 4 month challenge that would deal him the final blow.

On April 18, 2007 ...as he lay in his hospital bed...losing the war with the "big C"...we renewed our wedding vows.  It was our 15th anniversary...and 34 hours later, on April 20th, 2007,Gerry's wonderful heart beat for the last time. It was only a few hours before he made his final exit from this realm and his entrance to the next...when I saw Gerry suddenly sit up in bed...extend his arms to heaven...and with wide eyes and mouth dropped open.. reach up toward heaven!  It was as if he'd seen a glimpse of what or whom he would soon be meeting! He slowly floated back to his pillow where he peacefully slept away without a struggle. 
Miracles!  I've seen them!  

Thankfully, Gerry had kept a journal...which I can read often...to remind myself of his jouney with God. He'd written letters to family members even before he received the cancer diagnosis...asking for their forgiveness for things he had done that he was sorry for. He had nicknamed himself "The Kingman" ...a replacement for the self-image he'd written about in a poem penned in his twenties:
"The Man Who Never Was". Gerry experienced much healing for his broken spirit...and he knew the power of forgiving and being forgiven.  He was capable of loving unconditionally and he constantly showered me with that love. Our matching wedding bands with 3 small diamonds became our "witnessing tool"...to represent: "Jana and Gerry with Jesus in the middle"! That was the miracle of our love!

 Forgiveness is like the battery in the flashlight! God is "Ever Ready" to forgive us....and forgiveness is the "power" that makes it possible for HIM to shine His LIGHT on our path.  He empowers us to make the changes that will "deliver us from evil" ...from the wrongs we have committed...the lifestyles we have fallen into...the self-destructive behaviors that bring terrible consequences.

CONSEQUENCES...however...are not always removed. 
I live with the ripple effect of choices made long ago. It is not always easy! YET...I am no longer the woman I once was. I take no credit for the changes...the Glory belongs to God.

Still Imperfect?  Oh, Yes! The pull of "sin" ("that which I don't want to do ...I DO!" said the apostle Paul)  is ever present. But my appetite for it has diminished. I am a work in progress...just like the rest of God's "kids" and thankful for being "delivered" from much. I am also aware that "to whom much has been given /forgiven...MUCH IS REQUIRED"! 

New Years' Resolutions!!
It's that time again...we make 'em and we break 'em!
So...I will simply ask for God's help to stay on His track for my life. To quote my late husband, Gerry, from the last entry in his journal: "I am willing...and I know YOU (God) will make me able!"

Amen!

Sunday 11 November 2012

LET ALL MY WORDS BE SILENT ...LEST WE FORGET!

LET ALL MY WORDS BE SILENT...LEST WE FORGET!

IN ALL MY WRITINGS OF THIS DAY...
ONE THOUGHT LEFT OUT...FORGIVE, I PRAY!
THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO'VE KEPT US FREE!
FROM COAST TO COAST AND SEA TO SEA

THEIR LOVED ONES BEAR THE GRIEF SO DEEP
WE MUST REMEMBER WHY THEY WEEP
GOD BLESS THEM ALL...KEEP THEM IN YOUR HAND
THEIR LOVED ONES DIED TO PROTECT OUR LAND

REMEMBER ALWAYS THE ONES WHO DARED
TO FIGHT FOR US WHEN WAR WAS DECLARED
THEY PAID THE PRICE WE COULD NOT PAY
LEST WE FORGET...GIVE THANKS THIS DAY!

AND PRAY THAT WAR WILL CEASE TO BE
AMONG ALL PEOPLES...AND YOU AND ME
SEEK PEACE ON EARTH...AS NEVER BEFORE
WHICH OUR LORD WILL BRING FOREVER MORE